Saturday, February 25

I know I've seen this story somewhere, but this never fails to trigger something within me. I know, I'm weak, I fall for sappy stuff. What to do? ...

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired; there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?

And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?"

He said:" I will give you your answer tomorrow..." My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

"My dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.." This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.....

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs."

"You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you."

"You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city; I have to save my eyes to show you the way."

"You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month; I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy."

"You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom."

"You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face..."

"Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die."

"My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting... and as I continue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk..."

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread.... Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone... That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model; it could be the dullest and boring form... Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our life... Love, not words win arguments.

"A soul mate is the one with whom you could sit with without saying a word and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you have ever had."

Posted by Isabelle at 3:29 pm

I'm tired.

Only fell asleep this morning at 6.30am to wake up about 3 hours later. Had to rush off for meeting, then down to the hospital. My grandma was rushed down to Tan Tock Seng after her repeated bouts of giddiness and vomiting. Turns out her blood pressure shot up out of the blue, but this afternoon she seems better. I guess it's back under control.

Met up with Sophia, Huiling and company for dinner, but by then, I was so tired from the lack of sleep, I left earlier and headed back hall to snooze. Not much though. An hour plus isn't gonna get me anywhere.

Have to rush out my lab report fast, and finish studying that irritating organic chem quiz.

Posted by Isabelle at 4:03 am

Thursday, February 23

Recently discovered this Nohari Window thing. Looks a little kinda cruel, but come on, do me a favour and look this through.

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Isabelle

Posted by Isabelle at 9:46 am

Wednesday, February 22

115 days, and counting. Lol.

Don't ask me why I did that. Just thought of putting it as a mental note.

Posted by Isabelle at 9:39 pm

Tuesday, February 21

Busy day.

Woke up at 11.30am to rush back school for effective comm meeting at 1.30. Sounds like I got plenty of time to prepare, but I was at home, and I take about 2 hours to get to school. I was expecting the meeting to end at about 4 plus, but surprisingly, we only took about an hour to wrap things up. So I had a little time between the meeting and jam band at 4 to pack up my room.

Didn't do much jamming, since we were still under the brainstorming stage. Upcoming performance, so gotta think of something to perform. Left at about 5.45 for K-box session. Was really excited about it, coz it's the first time we are gonna sing from 7pm to 3am. Woot. That's freaking 8 hours.

Met up with the guys, had a bit of dinner, then started chiong-ing until midnight. That's when everyone starts to leave. Finally at about 1am, 3 of us (James, Hanwei, me) took up the frigging big lounge. We near froze to death with just only the 3 of us. But that's when the fun really comes in. You don't have to wait long for your song. Heh. Ended our day only at 2.30am. Cool.

Anyway, I'm tired now. Updates for the week later, but I predict I'll be pretty busy this recess week.

Posted by Isabelle at 3:07 am

Sunday, February 19

Cool, this is my 501th post. That's... incredible.

It's been a great weekend right after all my irritating quizzes. Had a record of 3 quizzes the pask week, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do quite badly for all of them. Ah, whatever. The main point of this blog is that I had a lot of fun this weekend. Time passes pretty fast, but when I look back, if feels as though I had a weekful of entertainment. Not bad.

Friday night was club night. What we all thought was an SCBE bash turned out to be an engineering bash. Yeah, we were kinda cheated, but well, almost our whole class turned up, so we made up the CBE batch going wild. I seriously think we have the most fun class in CBE, so I really enjoy chiong-ing with them. Lots of booze, lots of music, I was feeling quite high after about half a glass of vodka ribena. (I know, a lot of people tell me I suck, even I know I suck. I just can't drink for nuts. I'll further prove my point later.) The guys went out before the fun started to get themselves drunk on neat vodka. Quite clever actually, you save about 3 to 4 times opening a bottle outside the club rather than inside, and the end result is still the same -- you get drunk, you get high.

And when you get high, you start heading for the dance floor, and then the podium. I think we were smarter, head for the podium before everyone else does, and you get the maximum attention with minimum effort. Cool eh? Lol. Before we knew what was happening, everyone was on the podium doing their moves. I think that night the podium was mainly C26's. Everytime you turn to look up, you will spot at least 1 of the C26ers there dancing.

I survived until about 1.45am before we decided to head out to take a breather and have some non-alcoholic drinks to clear our heads. Not a wise choice. Came back feeling a lot worse. Headed out to the dance floor before I coming back with a headache, and started to puke all over the place. Literally. The path I took to the toilet was lined with my puke. Amazingly, the moment I crouched in front of the toilet bowl I stopped throwing out stuff. But I still had the helluva headache. Regurgitated the remnants in my stomach before I concussed for the night. I know I didn't drink much. What, the most 1.5 x vodka ribena? I'm weak, I know. Ah.

No, I don't usually have hangovers. Woke up the next day fresh, and ready to set off for Johor Bahru. Planned a comfy 2-day relaxation trip, complete with massive retail therapy and a good rest at the Puteri Pacific hotel to recover from whatever abuse we suffered the past weeks. The shops there are endless, you simply cannot finish browsing through them in 1 day. Regretted we didn't make it there earlier, but as usual, I was travelling with a "tu shen" (I meant *ahem* dilly-dally king, hehe), so yeah, usually your timings just fail on you. But I guess it wasn't that bad la, quite a bit of shopping was done.

The hotel was fabulous. 50 bucks Sin dollars per person and you get a 4-star hotel room, complete with good service. The toilet was one of the bigger ones I've seen (I grade hotel rooms mainly by their toilets) and it's really hard to find a toilet where the bathtub and the shower are 2 separate compartments. Enjoyed my strawberry-scented soak with music blasting from the room. Twice. Damn relaxing.

Lazed on the bed after soaking to watch Bleach (yeah, I brought my laptop), cuddled under the comforter. And then when morning comes, there's hot breakfast just downstairs waiting for you. What else could be better? For once you just have to sit back and relax and forget everything.

I think I'm gonna miss this trip.

Posted by Isabelle at 10:14 pm

Thursday, February 16

Realised I've been blogging for the last 2 nights. Tonight will make it the 3rd one. I'm really starting to adapt to this routine thing. Every night I study with my friends until 2am, then I head back to my room to settle down and clear up things for the day, blog a little, then sleep like a log to next morning.

Ah, whatever.

Nothing spectacular happened. And talk about the phrase 'nothing spectacular', it's been stuck with me ever since we established it as our hong kong lecturer's pet phrase. And he says it with that distinctive cantonese accent it's hard to let it slip by. Lol. Yeah, our joke of the day. Quite loser. I mean you actually have to resort to laughing at teachers to get through the day. Oh well.

Had a surprise quiz today. Not really surprising, since we all predicted it'll come sooner or later. 25 MCQs, so at least we can ee-ne-ma-ne-ee-ne-mo, or throw dice, or turn the pen. Or whatever method you use la. As long you get some answers down onto the paper.

Maths quiz tomorrow, and it's killing me. Killing me as in really killing me. It's been quite long since I've been confounded by maths. Argh. Can't seem to get it into my head. Think I'll have to let my integrity go tomorrow. But come to think of it, if you actually depend on your integrity all the time, it's gonna be hard to survive school. So copy while you can, and earn that extra 10 or 20% of your final grades.

Material Science quiz on Friday, and I think by then I'll be numb to everything that's happening these few days. After friday I'll be free... for the moment. Next week is recess week, so it's time to have a break, then start mugging for the finals. Yes, I'm the conscientious student. Yes I am, albeit the loser kind.

Expect more school-oriented blogs these few days.

Posted by Isabelle at 2:29 am

Wednesday, February 15

Blogging while I wait for the frigging laundry to spin in the machine. Yeah, weird for anyone to be washing their clothes in the middle of the night, you'll just have to get used to it. Just came back from studying, and doing a bit of stuff before I turn in for the night.

Well, it's a day over and done with. Had class in the morning, went back hall to nap for the afternoon, woke up in the evening for dinner and watched Bleach before I started on my work. A normal kind of routine thing I've started to adopt.

Then you find yourself having a little mini V day celebration in the midst of all those studying. Kinda disconcerting, but fun and sweet anyway. It's not candlelight dinner and star gazing nights at the highest point in Singapore (in this case, it's either Mt. Faber or Bukit Timah), or decorating the beach with sparklers. Tea candles lit the room romantically (for a while), then dinner was cup noodles in front of Bleach, which both of us were so hooked on. Not the usual kind of big bang celebration you'd think, but hey, students live the simple life. (We can only afford the simple life anyway.)

But I'd be grateful for the amount of time we spent on each other, spent with each other. That alone is probably enough. The rest are just dressings.

Happy Valentine's.

Posted by Isabelle at 2:52 am

Tuesday, February 14

It's a little late for me to be blogging right now, but a promise's a promise. Had to agree to Heli to blog after I stop my revision for the night. (Hey, I'm a changed person. I study every night. Seriously. With 2 quizzes coming up this week, I can't help it.)

Anyway, we had quite a big Fey gathering last saturday. And once for the record, everyone turned up. No absentees, but late-comers were plenty. (I'm talking about myself here.) Regretted a little that I missed most of the action, and the food. Lol. But I was there for the cake cutting and wine (no, beer) toasting, which turned out to be very wedding-ish. We had Carlberg 'champagne' with individual wine glasses and your name specially written with glass paint.

Well, it was quite cool, since it was the first time Fey has ever had such a big group gathering. My decision to bring Xin along was quite impromptu, since I actually didn't expect him to come along, but well, Ven and him can go on rambling about soccer, I won't mind. Didn't really find time to sit down and talk to everyone, so I was just hanging out, sitting on that OTO recliner and listening to anything and everything.

Well, now that I've gone from school for 3 years and counting, everyone's gone their ways, hopefully for the better. You know, you get to see the gradual change in everyone, from all those kiddo days and then now almost everyone's gonna cross over to their 18th. Our oldest member is going to cross her 21st this coming June. Woo, it's that fast, it's almost freaky.

Anyway.

It's Valentine's already. 3am on V day morning, and I just stopped studying, gonna prepare for sleep. Nine roses are resting on my table, so I'm feeling very warm and fuzzy right now. It's amazing what flowers can do to any girl, I mean they are just what, petals with different colours that happen to come together to look like roses. Add a few forget-me-nots and stardust and you get a bouquet. Ah-ha. And that package can almost just blow any girl away. Powerful eh?

But then, come to think of it, I'm just like any other girl with a weakness for flowers.

Happy Valentine's Day, people.

Posted by Isabelle at 2:24 am

Saturday, February 11

(Blogger had to shut down last night when I felt like blogging. Darn.)

Woo. I can't believe I haven't posted at all this week. Meant to update yesterday though, but was too tired to do it.

Have been skipping quite a bit of classes these days. Had a 4-hour lecture on thursday, of which I slept through 1 hour, and decided I should come back hall after waking up groggy. Developed a hell of a headache on my walk back hall, and jumped right into bed. Didn't have a good rest though. Kept tossing on bed until about 4, then finally got a bit of sleep until 7. Quite bad.

Missed the first 3 hours of class yesterday too. Slept till 11, and would have continued sleeping if someone didn't wake me up. Argh. I'm constantly feeling lethargic, and I wonder why. Not good.

Slept about 10 hours last night, so I hope I'm feeling better now.

Posted by Isabelle at 11:54 am

Sunday, February 5

I'm having this terrible body ache now, and I am walking like a duck. Lol. My butt and thighs hurt like hell, my back has a dull ache and shoulder blades are cracking up. Didn't know 2 hours of badminton can have such side effects on me. Had a few rounds of badminton with my class peeps on friday, and then paintball on saturday. I think I over-strained my muscles.

It's quite bad. I'm having problems sitting down and getting up, not to mention dressing up and wearing pants. Haven't been aching like this bad for a very long time. Probably gonna take a while to heal.

Anyway. I think either I've grown dependent on caller ids, or my house phone is different from my handphone. Can't seem to grasp the identity of the person on the other side of the phone, which led to me making a fool of myself all over again. Argh. Damn funny.